Monday, August 22, 2016

THE BARREL (Parody of the Cask of Amontillado)

       The thousand injuries of Fortunato I had borne as I best could, but when he ventured upon insult I vowed revenge. You, who so well know the nature of my soul, will not suppose, however, that gave utte---
        “What is wrong with you? Talk,” The furious Officer Joe shouted.
        “All right, calm down.” I replied impatiently.
        “Enough talk. What happened to the victim two years ago?” The curious Inspector Brian asked as he ate his sprinkled-strawberry doughnut.
         “Just give me a minute.”
        “We’ll be right back,” They went outside of the investigation room.
     Now where was I? Oh yes, Fortunato, that scoundrel.
          
          It was about dusk, one evening during the supreme madness of the carnival season, that I encountered my friend. He accosted me with excessive warmth, for he had been drinking much.
          I said to him --"My dear Fortunato, you are luckily met. How remarkably well you are looking to-day. But I have received a barrel of what passes for Amontillado, and I have my doubts."
         “WHERE ARE THE BARRELS!?” A guy wearing blue shirt with “P” screamed and ambushed our conversation.
         “THEY’RE NOT HERE! Go somewhere else.” I replied with madness.
         “Fine then.” He ran off to the carnival and sought for his “barrels.”
         “Now like I said before, I have a barrel of what passes for Amontilad—“
          “Wait,” Fortunato stared with his beady eyes, “You say that the Amontillado is real so that you can lock me up in the death chamber while I’m drunk?”
           “Uh, no…”
           “Great, let’s find this Amontillado.” He was so eager to find the Amontillado. As he took his first step, he immediately fell.
            I slap my face with regret. Then I carried him to the Wayne Mansion. I fired all the attendants except for Alfred for I have trust in him.
           
              As I arrived at the mansion, Alfred was there, waiting with the tea my mom makes.
              “Alfred, I’ll be down stairs, making the archive.”
              “Of course, sir, I’ll keep that in mind. Let me remind you there are still chambers that haven’t blocked yet. So I recommend caution as you go.”
              “Thanks, Alfred.” I thanked him for reminding me and so I continued to do what is right for me.
              


                 As I carried Fortunato within the catacombs, I heard a rumbling and tumbling from first chamber. It became louder and louder. Then an adventurer wearing a brown leather jacket with the whip attached to his jeans walks down from the chamber to the other.
              “GET OUT OF THE WAY!” He shouted as he was holding a weird relic around his arms. The rumbling became stronger as the boulder chases him endlessly. Then the rumbling stopped and I continued to walk towards the death chamber.

               As I arrived at the death chamber, I put Fortunato down on the ground to make sure everything was in place.
                  “Amontillado,” he said.
                  “Yes, Amontillado,” I replied as I was preparing the bricks.
                  “Amontillado,” he said once more.
                  “Yes, I know, Amontillado,” I replied yet I can’t handle his annoyance any longer.
                  “Amontillado,”
                  “SHUT UP, BEAR!” I grabbed him and locked him with chains for the annoyance by presence of naivety.
                  I left him there for good and cover the death chamber with bricks. I wish that I will never see the existence of his face again.

                  “Hey, you have a visitor.” Officer Joe disturbed my darkest thoughts as he brought the visitor.
It was Doc Brown, my old classmate from the high school years.
                   “Morning, Montresor. I see you dilly-dally this morning.” He said.
                  “Yes, I did, my old friend.” I replied with a tinted grin.
                  “Hey, Monty, I have something for you.” He handed me a letter.
                   “A letter?” I didn’t ask who wrote it. My mind was blown as I read it from someone I hate the most.

                   “Someday, your death will cost a fortune,”

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